Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Making the Band
I am sure that for all of you out there that read this you know Tyler well and know that ever since he was little he has shown a lot of interest in music. Personally, I love this about him. I have never known how to play an instrument and it is one of my regrets. So, you can imagine how happy Tyler was when in the second grade they started teaching them to play the recorder. He loves that crazy thing and plays it all the time all over the house. I remember he used to play it in the morning and Deborah would be sleeping. It was pretty funny. Anyhow, can you imagine how happy he was when they came into his classroom and passed out the papers to join the band! He brought the papers home and was just so excited! "Guess what mom?!? I can be in the Cadet Band now that I am in the 3rd grade!" It was pretty cute. So I took the forms from him and read them over. Of course there is a fee just to put him in it and then it gives you all the information on what instrument he could play and how to go about getting it. So I asked him what instrument he wanted to play and he said the trumpet. So I told him I would look into it.
The next morning I was driving him to school and he said to me, "Mom, I have a secret to tell you. I don't want to play the trumpet." So of course I asked him why he told me he did and he said that it was because he couldn't play what he really wanted to play. So I asked him what it was he really wanted to play and he replied, "the clarinet." So I asked him why he couldn't play that and he said he knew it was for girls and everyone would make fun of him. Just to hear him say this breaks my heart and to be honest I was torn. I didn't know if I should encourage him to do what he wants to do or try and save him from getting made fun of. I just told him that instruments weren't made for boys or girls, they are for both. I told him that he should do what he wants to do and to think it over. He said he would.
Of course I went right to work and called his music teacher. I mean I don't know a thing about music so how could tell him something I wasn't really sure about myself? I mean is the clarinet for girls? I called her and she was just the nicest lady. She told me several things that made me feel very good. First she said third grade is the first year that they introduce the band and she said just about all of them want to do it. So, he could change his mind or love it - who knows. Second, she said that there are currently 4 children that play the clarinet and 2 are boys and 2 are girls. She also said that in most professional orchestras, men play the clarinet. Last, she told me that the clarinet was a difficult instrument to play because of the breath control it takes. She was very helpful and informative.
The next night I told Tyler all the things that the music teacher told me but I also let him know that kids are mean sometimes and there may be people that make fun of him but he should not care. He should always do what he wants to do no matter what anyone thinks or says. He was so happy to hear the clarinet and said for sure he wanted to play. SOOOOO, I told him that I still needed to look into the cost and talk to his dad about it. To which he said, "Do you have to talk to my dad?" I said of course, why wouldn't I? And he said that he didn't want me to because Scott would be mad at him. I was livid! I hate that my son was afraid to tell his dad what he really wants to do. UGGGG!! So needless to say I called Scott and told him about my conversation with Tyler. I told him that he needed to encourage Tyler to do what he wants to do. I told him that he should be proud that Tyler is more like him in that respect. I mean Scott does what he wants no matter what anyone thinks. No one would ever call him a follower. The same can be said for Tyler. Year after year I have his teachers tell me that he is a leader. They tell me that even if no one wants to follow him he still does his own thing. I love that about him. So Scott said he was going to call Tyler and talk to him about it. Needless to say I was nervous. There is just never any telling with Scott! Deborah had Tyler that afternoon and said she heard the entire phone call. Scott called and asked Tyler what was new. He replied nothing and so Scott probed further....
S: You are not doing anything new in school?
T: Yeah, I am in the band.
S: Oh yeah - that's great. What instrument are you playing?
T: The clarinet.
S: Do you know what I think of that?
T: No.
S: I think that is awesome! Be sure and let me know if you ever have a show or a concert so I be there too.
Deborah said she almost shed a tear. Tyler hung up the phone and was smiling from ear to ear. He even called me to tell me his dad was not mad at him! Sometimes I swear Scott can just shock you. He's never been a bad dad or anything like that but you know he is a GUY. But, more importantly he's Tyler's dad and the one person he tries hardest to please, so I was so proud of Scott.
The next morning I was driving him to school and he said to me, "Mom, I have a secret to tell you. I don't want to play the trumpet." So of course I asked him why he told me he did and he said that it was because he couldn't play what he really wanted to play. So I asked him what it was he really wanted to play and he replied, "the clarinet." So I asked him why he couldn't play that and he said he knew it was for girls and everyone would make fun of him. Just to hear him say this breaks my heart and to be honest I was torn. I didn't know if I should encourage him to do what he wants to do or try and save him from getting made fun of. I just told him that instruments weren't made for boys or girls, they are for both. I told him that he should do what he wants to do and to think it over. He said he would.
Of course I went right to work and called his music teacher. I mean I don't know a thing about music so how could tell him something I wasn't really sure about myself? I mean is the clarinet for girls? I called her and she was just the nicest lady. She told me several things that made me feel very good. First she said third grade is the first year that they introduce the band and she said just about all of them want to do it. So, he could change his mind or love it - who knows. Second, she said that there are currently 4 children that play the clarinet and 2 are boys and 2 are girls. She also said that in most professional orchestras, men play the clarinet. Last, she told me that the clarinet was a difficult instrument to play because of the breath control it takes. She was very helpful and informative.
The next night I told Tyler all the things that the music teacher told me but I also let him know that kids are mean sometimes and there may be people that make fun of him but he should not care. He should always do what he wants to do no matter what anyone thinks or says. He was so happy to hear the clarinet and said for sure he wanted to play. SOOOOO, I told him that I still needed to look into the cost and talk to his dad about it. To which he said, "Do you have to talk to my dad?" I said of course, why wouldn't I? And he said that he didn't want me to because Scott would be mad at him. I was livid! I hate that my son was afraid to tell his dad what he really wants to do. UGGGG!! So needless to say I called Scott and told him about my conversation with Tyler. I told him that he needed to encourage Tyler to do what he wants to do. I told him that he should be proud that Tyler is more like him in that respect. I mean Scott does what he wants no matter what anyone thinks. No one would ever call him a follower. The same can be said for Tyler. Year after year I have his teachers tell me that he is a leader. They tell me that even if no one wants to follow him he still does his own thing. I love that about him. So Scott said he was going to call Tyler and talk to him about it. Needless to say I was nervous. There is just never any telling with Scott! Deborah had Tyler that afternoon and said she heard the entire phone call. Scott called and asked Tyler what was new. He replied nothing and so Scott probed further....
S: You are not doing anything new in school?
T: Yeah, I am in the band.
S: Oh yeah - that's great. What instrument are you playing?
T: The clarinet.
S: Do you know what I think of that?
T: No.
S: I think that is awesome! Be sure and let me know if you ever have a show or a concert so I be there too.
Deborah said she almost shed a tear. Tyler hung up the phone and was smiling from ear to ear. He even called me to tell me his dad was not mad at him! Sometimes I swear Scott can just shock you. He's never been a bad dad or anything like that but you know he is a GUY. But, more importantly he's Tyler's dad and the one person he tries hardest to please, so I was so proud of Scott.
